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Ok this one is interesting. I love Anthony Bourdain …hell - I want the balls to walk into a restaurant in Namibia serving fried goat testicles and those powdered donuts you see all the kids running around with all over their *face. I also think his book is pretty good to. I mean- how would I know that checks routinely have sex in the chiller on top of the usually innocuous bib lettuce and brownschweiger if not for his book? Or that “jizz” is kitchen short hand for mise en place?
Now we have Paula Dean. She reminds me of my gramma so I think she is wonderful. My gramma loved her cooking and Paula doesn’t always simplify, water down or basically treat people like a moron and ensuring them that it is quick and easy, that you can use short cuts, use less than 5 ingredients to make it or for god sakes in under 30 minutes with a dab of smoky cumin and some EVOO.
I bit into a fantastic bar of pumpkin with cobbler topping and chunks of caramel/toffee that about made my teeth pull up root and hop down my throat to get away from the hellish overload of butter and sugary sugar sugar. I also appreciate that she is a woman business owner, seems like a great mom/gramma/wife and generally has a kind attitude and a lot of drive.
But here is the down side… I don’t really like that she takes part in those freaking food competitions and at this point does not have a show on COOK in addition to (or preferably in place of) her shows on FOOD. And selling out to that ham company and schlepping hams all over town is beneath her.
And, if I have not mentioned this recently I think FOOD network sucks sucks sucks. There remains not one single show that I will watch on the network and when I channel surf and see all of the stupid food competitions like cupcake wars or some roided up jar head choosing on his own validation to be “challenged” to cook a meal for 500- people in the middle of an air-port hanger in the desert with nothing to use but bugs and his own bodily fluid with a blind Labrador retriever as his “robin” to get the job done…. I say: “Holy food competition batman this show sucks!!”
So to this whole situation I say this: leave Paula to her bacon glazed doughnut and Anthony to his cereal bowl of pee. It was good publicity to both of them and I love the drama cause it brings attention to the real gritty visceral side of cooking where it ought to be instead of kim kardashians and her sisters stupid ass wedding. I am sure Anthony isn’t perfect but at this point I agree with him so much that if I knew of a short-coming I would overlook it because he is keeping it real and being honest.
On a final note – here are a few quotes from Anthony’s recent People Article: Watching Sandra Lee cook makes Anthony’s eyes bleed, a cheese burger between donuts is no “southern cooking”, Rachel can be quoted as saying she was never good at cooking, Guy Fieri makes Anthony think “ Jesus, I’m glad that’s not me.” Hearing Anthony Bordaine say these things was like scratching an itch that I have had on my back-side since the first time I realized the bathroom was for going “potty” and the kitchen is for cooking food.
*(It’s just a joke people – this is supposed to funny – if you can’t handle my brand of joke then find another blog to read)
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