Sweat Stuff Baby

Interesting Sweat Food Facts and pointers of the Holiday season 2011-2012

-          Trader Joe’s doesn’t use enough corn starch in their confectioners’ sugar – so it gets lumpy.  Looks nice and fluffy in the bag but once you go to use it you get a bunch of pebbles that never really go away – your effort to crumble them up will lead to more chunks.  So – my learning was that I should just stick with the regular good stuff that your gramma used. 

-          The difference between regular, dark and light brown sugar is molasses.  So, if you are out of brown sugar – and just so happen to have some Molasses on hand – slowly drizzle some Molasses in your sugar.  The technical note: Dark Brown Sugar is 6.5 % Molasses and Light is 3.5%. So 1 tbsp. of Molasses for light brown sugar and 2 tbsp. of Molasses for dark brown – add this amount to one cup of sugar

-          To make one cup of Superfine Sugar – toss one cup of sugar plus one2 tsp. of sugar into a food processor and grind it up so it is more fine – the yield should be one even cup.

-          To make your own Confectioners’ sugar you toss 1 cup of sugar plus 1 tsp. of corn starch into a blender and grind for three min. strain it to remove any chunks – this will produce one cup of confectioners’ sugar

-          Did you know that Molasses is a byproduct of the sugar refining process?  Yup – they take that dark stuff out and do other unholy things in their sugar laboratory and poof – from a burnt up sugar cain you have molasses and pretty white sugar.  Which then are all tossed together again in your mixer to make cookies.  I am sure that those unholy practices include using the sugar beet plant to beat up the Keebler gnomes and make middle school children cut their nails just a tad too short so they sting when you grip things for a few days.  Don’t feel bad for them – they are middle school kids… they are earned it in some form or fashion.

-          Color definitly indicates the depth of flavor of honey. Wholefood market offers an apple honey – it’s all apples and no bee crap.  And it tastes like honey – even better.  I love the stuff.  I mix a crap load of it into goat cheese and spread it on crusty bread – it’s the bomb schmitzers!

-          Turbinado and or/ Raw and or Demaerara sugar is the shit.  I love the stuff in my coffee and tea and on any sweet thing that you think could benefit from some little light brown crystal diamonds.  It takes some time to dissolve so keep that in mind when you decide what to mix it into or sprinkle it onto.  It’s actually a by-product residue of making sugar where some of the molasses is left in the sugar.  It’s been called Turbinado sugar because the processing includes being steam washed and spun in a turbine.

-           Despite the fact that they tell you to weigh out your ingredients, to sift out stuff and to pay mind to only folding things into dough a couple of times (leaving big chunks???) I don’t do most of this stuff and most of my stuff seems to work out fine.  Having that been said – I have never baked anything spectacular – as a matter of fact I am only marginally into baking.  So, if you find yourself REALLY REALLY into baking you should probably consider following the directions actually and dusting off your weight watchers scale and buy a sifter and use it to weigh and sift things out.  Make your own laboratory and find something to sacrifice in the name of the sugar gods and see what kind of great things you can bake.  I suggest putting a middle school child in the shower and chucking eggs as them – sacrifice the eggs in the name of the sugar gods.  After all most – middle school kids and tweens cold use a good egg beating. 

Smack that Easy Button

I have down-right bragged about my neighborhoold and the fact that it is close to a foodies paradise.  Imagine something you want to cook, smack the easy button and walk down the street. 

We have Lunds,  Kowalskie’s,  Trader Joes, The Cheese Chop, Mississippi Market, Coastal Sea Foods, The,  Olive Grove, Cooks on Crocus kill – to name a few.  We gave up about 1000, square feet of house, a large yard, a home built after the 1920’s, closet space, dry basement….let me think for a minute and I can come up with more – o ya the houses cost about twice as much as one three time the size in the burbs.  There is no 3^rd garage for you refurbishing trans-am project or a need for a riding lawn mower or snow blower but people will give up over half their yard for a rain-barrel, mulch bin and “organic” vegetable garden.  Leaving just enough room for their native plant garden. 

So you have to want to live in Highland/MacGroveland (or have a husband who has his real-estate license, broker’s license, no contingencies and creep into a double flipped foreclosure right across the street who’s general contractor is a drunk and blabs on and on about the previous foreclosure etc.,).  So given all of that it takes a special person to make the sacrifice to live here.  But the benefits outweigh the draw backs – we have like 100 (seriously) restaurants within 5 miles or us, we have quick simple access to all of the major highways.  We are smack between Mpls and St. Paul and a stone’s throw from the capital, Ordway, Wabasha Caves, Como area, Science Museum and have their own covered famers market where people actually grow their veg. and sell it instead of buying it from another state and selling it.  We can walk to two different vintage theatres and they have super strict rules on fast food restaurants.  We don’t have a McDonalds in our hood.  Noodles wanted to move into the space where the Italian Pie Shop used to be but they awarded the space to Brasa instead!  Whoot whoot!

We have a great shopping district on Grand Avenue, the neighborhood is bubbling over with private education and universities/colleges and for the most part the folks around here are good, honest, organic, love their trees, adopt children from 3^rd world country and the worst crime in the neighborhood is usually graffiti or some frat boy rockin’ down Summit naked on a tandem bike.  (this did happen!). 

Yesterday I learned that the owners of Morton’s Steak House, Tria and the Twin Cities grill opened up a restaurant just south of Randolph on Snelling.  It’s called Joan’s in The Park. They only do dinner and the average meal is around $30 per person.  I don’t know if that includes wine – they only have a wine and liquor license. I reviewed the menu and it looks pretty darn good and I am hoping they do some specials with ingredients that are seasonal. 

Now that I am done bragging I need to make room for a few other neighborhoods – like Mpls – there is no doubt a ton of these same amenities, just more spread out.  The restaurant Travail was named the 5^th best restaurant in the nation by bon appetite!  There are also some really great little joints in each general neighborhood.  Accept for Fridley j/k.  When I take a special trip to the boonies I am typically surprised because it takes a very special person with very special skills to take a risk and open up a nice restaurant (not necessarily $$$) in an area where people would probably opt for a BW3 or Olive Garden.

So check out Joan’s In the Park when you get a chance or take a day trip to Highland.  I promise you won’t be let down!

Something Smells Fishy in my Drawers

I won’t eat a anchovy out of a jar or a can or what ever.  I will however eat smoked oysters from a can and if someone is nice enough to de-bone mackerel I will eat that too.  I especially like these items on triscuits for some reason.  Add a little bit of honey spun goat cheese and you are really in business.  I am stating this with my head held tall and with no shame.  I have a bumber of cans in my can good drawer.
but, let’s face it – if your mom sent you to school with a can of kippered snacks to school you would be exiled from the rest of the kids and would be eating alone for the rest of your school career – probably the whole damn 12 grades.  Forever you would be called “fisheypants” and when you go to your reunions the first thing anyone will think when they see you is “there is fisheypants”. 

But secretly there are a lot of people to eat them.  Not just people from 3^rd world countries that have no other choice or outback hermits collecting them as part of their check list of things to do until the revolution.   I eat them from time to time but wouldn’t exactually want to eat them for an extended period of time – especially if I didn’t have my triscuits.

Here is my list of times when it would be embarrassing to eat canned preserved fish:

-          On the buss – what if it opended up?  What would I say?  Sorry that’s my kippered snack in my lunch bag?  Probably, not I would just give my neighbor a suspicious look

-          At work?  Can you imagine the looks if you heat it up?  The whole lunch room would smell like fish.  Then you put the container in the garbage and the custodian has to hold his nose when he takes the garbage out.  God forbit he not take it out for a few days and it sits around. 

-          Getting caught hiding one under your dip-shit boss’s bucket seat

-          When you check out at the grocery store – because the check-out folks are people – and like most they will judge and they do remember people… I know this for a fact because my neighbor works at lunds.  Then after all of that you have to deal with the bag-boy looking at you like you are a total freak of nature.

-          You share it with someone who actually asks what it tastes like and they throw it up into a napkin.

-          You feed some to your kid and then you later change their diaper and it makes a re appearance – strangly smelling like it was fresh out of the can.

Ok, maybe I am going a little bit over-board here.  But a home is a woman’s castle and I will proudly crack open my can of smoked oysters and eat them with pride.   Alone- at home – with the shades drawn.

On a side note – canned oysters and sardeens are EXTREEMLY popular and EXTREEMLY expensive in most European countries – espically in Spain and Italy where some of the most posh tapa bars sell some varities for as much as 500 eurios a can.  Most of the top checks in the world eat them, like them and use them in their cooking.  It’s also an incredibly common ingredient in Ceasar Salad.  If you ask the server first they will either say yes, or say no because they are TOTALLY WRONG. 

So, I have this wee little recipe that uses anchovy’s – it’s a gateway anchovy’s recipe because it doesn’t end up tasting anything like anchovy’s –but somehow imparts a deep salty savory flavor into the sauce that can’t be achieved in any other way.  Kind of like fish sauce in just about every single Thai dish you have ever eaten.  Ever.

If you like Italian food you will totally love this – I guarantee it.  I have made it tons of times for a variety of different people and everyone loves it.

Spaghetti Putenesca

3 Olive Oil

½ jar of Alesso brand oil packed anchovy’s (you can use other brands but I recommend this one)

5 cloves diced garlic

3 cans of *Chento brand stewed or whole tomatoes – the large can

1 tsp red pepper flakes

1 tbsp salt

1 tbsp dry oregano or ½ cup fresh oregano

1 jar of capers
1 jar of roasted sweet red peppers

1 cup of olives (I skip this because I don’t really like olives and it doesn’t matter green or white) leave them whole for a more rustic experience

1lb or Barilla brand noodles – NOT creamette or any other value brand

I like using a large shallow fry pan that has 90 degree angle sides – but a large sauce pan is fine too.

Sautee the anchovies in three tbsp. of oil.  The anchovy’s will totally disappear. I also like to put some of the anchovy oil into the pan.  Once they disappear put the garlic in and sauté till soft.  Add in the cans of tomatoes (along with the juice) and the peppers (not with the juice) and oregano.  Simmer for 45min.  Add the drained capers and the olives and simmer for another 15-30min. depending on how much time you have.  Serve of noodles!  Refer to my blog about noodles.

*I like Cento because they are San Marzano from the Marzano valley – this is what they use at Punch pizza and numerous Italian restaurants like Bucca’s.  It’s not hard to fine – they sell it at Lunds, Byerlys,, Kowalski’s  and of all places Walmart in Marhsall MN!!!  You don’t have to use this – but it really adds that extra something something.  You can also quick poach skin and dice up fresh tomatoes – about 2.4 lbs should do.   

Enjoy!

Just like Norm from Cheers only not an over weight alcoholic

I am not in the mood to have shame about being a total Diva when the fish guys at my local fish market knows my name when I walk in the door, announce they have my favorite Kumamoto Oysters and then gives me 15 instead of the 12 I actually paid for.  I will be honest… I totally love it and am fully aware that these feelings are at the peak or narcissistic behavior but I just can’t help myself…

I consider Kumamot’s a “gateway” oyster.  It’s not too fishy, not to briny, just enough body, no slime just enough sea/oyster water and is actually rather sweet.   If you were so so on other types of oysters give this kind a try the next time around and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.  I like them with ONE drop of red tobacco sauce and a liberal squeeze of FRESH lemon.  This is no time to use a lemon substitute for god’s sake. 

Is it work it?  I tend to cut, scrape or jab myself at least one time for each dozen oysters I chuck…. I use an oyster knife to open, I hold onto it with a towel and cover my hand with another towel, I clean the sand and junk out of the hinge crack so that doesn’t get in the way or slide into the oyster when you open it – thereby leaving a bunch of crap in your oyster when you go to eat it.  And, of course I open it at the hinge which can sometimes be challenging to find.  But is it worth it?  Hellzz yaaa it’s worth it.  But not every weekend.

I learned this technique when the fish buy let me back behind the counter and showed me how.  And this invitation had absolutely NOTHING to do with how low cut my shirt was, that a little bit of my bra was showing and I was wearing go-go pants with high see-through heals.  Just kidding.  But in all fairness – being a foodie does mean that I have respect for people in the food industry and some of those mongers are pretty easy on the eyes too ;-)

Fat Italian Gramma: It’s like scratching the itch I have had on my bac...

Fat Italian Gramma: It’s like scratching the itch I have had on my bac...: . Ok this one is interesting. I love Anthony Bourdain …hell - I want the balls to walk into a restaurant in Namibia serving fried goat t...

It’s like scratching the itch I have had on my back-side since I was born

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Ok this one is interesting.  I love Anthony Bourdain …hell  - I want the balls to walk into a restaurant in Namibia serving fried goat testicles and those powdered donuts you see all the kids running around with all over their *face.  I also think his book is pretty good to.  I mean- how would I know that checks routinely have sex in the chiller on top of the usually innocuous bib lettuce and brownschweiger if not for his book?  Or that “jizz” is kitchen short hand for mise en place?

Now we have Paula Dean.  She reminds me of my gramma so I think she is wonderful.  My gramma loved her cooking and Paula doesn’t always simplify, water down or basically treat people like a moron and ensuring them that it is quick and easy, that you can use short cuts, use less than 5 ingredients to make it or for god sakes in under 30 minutes with a dab of smoky cumin and some EVOO. 

I bit into a fantastic bar of pumpkin with cobbler topping and chunks of caramel/toffee that about made my teeth pull up root and hop down my throat to get away from the hellish overload of butter and sugary sugar sugar.  I also appreciate that she is a woman business owner, seems like a great mom/gramma/wife and generally has a kind attitude and a lot of drive.

But here is the down side… I don’t really like that she takes part in those freaking food competitions and at this point does not have a show on COOK in addition to (or preferably in place of) her shows on FOOD.  And selling out to that ham company and schlepping hams all over town is beneath her. 

And, if I have not mentioned this recently I think FOOD network sucks sucks sucks. There remains not one single show that I will watch on the network and when I channel surf and see all of the stupid food competitions like cupcake wars or some roided up jar head choosing on his own validation to be “challenged” to cook a meal for 500- people in the middle of an air-port hanger in the desert with nothing to use but bugs and his own bodily fluid with a blind Labrador retriever as his “robin” to get the job done…. I say: “Holy food competition batman this show sucks!!”

So to this whole situation I say this: leave Paula to her bacon glazed doughnut and Anthony to his cereal bowl of pee.  It was good publicity to both of them and I love the drama cause it brings attention to the real gritty visceral side of cooking where it ought to be instead of kim kardashians and her sisters stupid ass wedding.  I am sure Anthony isn’t perfect but at this point I agree with him so much that if I knew of a short-coming I would overlook it because he is keeping it real and being honest. 

On a final note – here are a few quotes from Anthony’s recent People Article: Watching Sandra Lee cook makes Anthony’s eyes bleed,  a cheese burger between donuts is no “southern cooking”, Rachel can be quoted as saying she was never good at cooking, Guy Fieri makes Anthony think “ Jesus, I’m glad that’s not me.”  Hearing Anthony Bordaine say these things was like scratching an itch that I have had on my back-side since the first time I realized the bathroom was for going “potty” and the kitchen is for cooking food.

*(It’s just a joke people – this is supposed to funny – if you can’t handle my brand of joke then find another blog to read)

Bacon bacon bacon it's BACON!!

It’s been over two months since the last time I posted!  Thank you for coming back!!

I went to Walker and spent almost three weeks at the cabin and it was totally awesome.  There were a few cooking related instances to note.  The first being that I actually went out and bought a peeler knife and a 10 inch chef’s knife.  I just couldn’t stand the ones they had there and wasn’t going to take it for three whole weeks!  I know they were appreciated because anytime someone else cooked they used them.

I was able to sample some food that my cousin made – he is a chef and I have always wanted to talk to someone about cooking while they are cooking and I got my chance.  I am sure I was totally annoying because I asked him and talked about nothing but cooking for like 4 days in a row.  I couldn’t help myself!

So my cousin made bacon pancakes one morning and they were surprisingly good.  I do like the way the bacon tastes when it runs a foul and bumps into the pancakes – but never at the guts to mess with my pancakes.  It’s hard to try something new when you know that it would work out 100% perfect if you do what you always and know how to do.  The chance of screwing it up – especially y for company really detours me from doing that. 

It was surprising simple. He diced up the bacon into about 1 inch by ½ inch pieces and then sautéed them until they were crispy – this is important because having little chunks of fatty flaccid bacon is totally disgusting!! I don’t like flaccid things….

He put the bacon bits into the batter along with some of the bacon fat.  When he went to cook the pancakes he brushed some of the reserved bacon fat on the griddle and that infused another layer of delicious baconey goodness. 

Since we are taking about sweet breakfast items I have a recommendation: In the organic section of the grocery store they have mini blueberry waffles – they are perfect for messy little kids.  I went to the golden fit on grand avenue and purchased some maple syrup sugar and after applying butter on the waffles I sprinkle that delicious stuff on the waffle and I don’t have to worry about my son making a huge mess like he does with normal syrup but I don’t rob him from the chance to taste maple syrup.  Righteous!

Don't make me huntz you down and slap you

Somehow I managed to drive to my moms house, buy and make the meal and it was to celebrate my birthday.  Now that is commitment to go food.  Mom threaten to take something out of the "freezer".  There is nothing wrong with freezer meat - I have a ton of it myself and it's economical - but I wanted a caloric bomb of mass carbohydrate  destruction.

So, I made my puttanesca pasta sauce and it was so delicious and easy you should make it too.  I will even put a variation below to make it even more time-friendly. 

But, here is the thing... you use the shortcut you really must at least try and find Chento Sanmarsano tomatoes.  They are amazing and they can take the place of par-boiling tomatoes, skinning them and gutting them.  If you can't use find Chento then use Cantadina - but for gods sake don't use Huntz - they are NASTY.  Meir Glen is also a good organic brand but not very well spiced.  However, I will use their roasted tomatoes over any other brand and especially home made because in this case it just isn't worth the time and energy.  But I need to say again - DON"T use Huntz.  Huntz is the tinny, metallic, bland ketchup of tomatoes productions so stay away from it when you make this recipe.

And the second thing.  This recipe contains Anchovy fillets.  Don't be afraid I guarantee you ate them in many Italian sauces before without knowing it and it's the secret ingredient in this recipe.  If you say "yuck I don't like fish" I will reach out of the Internet and slap you - because as I stated before - the recipe is killer, easy and it doesn't taste like anchovies or fish.

Please give this one a go -it's my birthday gift to you on my birthday!

3 lbs ripe tomatoes - the big round ones or 4 large cans of stewed tomatoes cut into reasonable size pieces.
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
*6 anchovies fillets
10 cloves of crushed garlic
1 tbsp fresh red pepper FLAKES - don't be a woosie
handful of whole green olives (garlic stuffed is awesome)
one jar of capers - they all come in about the same size jar - drained
1/2 cup of diced fresh flat leaf parsley
1-2 large jars of sweet roasted red peppers - drained
1 lb of pasta

In a large deep pan saute the garlic, olive oil, anchovies and red pepper until the anchovies melt into nothing.  Then, add all of the rest of the ingredients and cook for 20 min.  At the end put in the parsley so brighten up the color.  Make the pasta, toss it into the sauce to coat and you are done.

If you have access to a ton of tomatoes you can use them by tossing them into a pot of boiling water (can be the same on as you will use for the pasta).  Once the skin cracks take them out and set them to the side to cool.  The skin will separate from the meat and you can easily peal it off.  Also, take out the seeks on the inside. 

* Look for the Italian anchovies that are in a jar.  These anchovies are smaller, packed in good oil and the bones or small enough that they will disintegrate.  You don't de-bone the little fillets - you just toss them in and go.

Jager Shitzle at the Glockenspiel

My in-laws are very mild mannered people and I try not to pick places to eat that are loud and obnoxious because we end up spending the meal asking each other to repeat ourselves and exercising politeness that absolutely nobody around us is exercising.  Just isn't the right mix.

That's why when we went to Gastovs over in NE many years ago it was a TERRIBLE idea!  We went with my whole family - people who are the quintessential opposite of mild mannered.  In fact it is a complete and total prerequisite that das boot makes an appearance, at least a whole meter of sausage is eaten and snuff is a competitive event. 

I told myself I could be a bridge between the two families.  Ya, a bridge to hell.  My poor in-laws were swallowed into a sea of loudness, booze and completely overwhelmed by the restaurant. 

But, being a good German girl I wanted German food for my birthday so when we picked a restaurant i decide we should try the Glockenspiel in St. Paul.  I remember being there with KG a while back and the food was good - we had a swine hawk - it was brazed and really delicious.  The spatzle was good, the red cabbage was good and the German potato salad was good too. The atmosphere was relatively calm and it wasn't overwhelming in the least.

So, I probably wouldn't blog about this if everything went as planned.  Instead we got the last table in the open area by the entrance, our appetizer - a $7 custard bowl of pickled herring and about a dozen ritz crackers before we got our drinks.  When the food came they dropped it off and never came back.  Fortunately everything was completely marginal and we didn't have any looming issues that would drive us to have to hunt our waitress down or sit and give her the stink eye until her back is warming from the shear determination and irritation my gaze. 

I had the jagerschnitzle, it was marginal, not really tender, a bit gristly and bland, the spatzle was flaccid and totally flavorless.  And my mother in law got the spagzle type mac n cheese and it looked like wall-paper glue and she said it was fine but a bit bland.  Remember at this point that the family is a Midwestern Norwegian family so they know what bland is - and that was bland as bland could be.

Everyone else had the sausage.. it was fine but a plate of sausage with cabbage and nothing else is a little lite for the price - unless you are on an adkins diet in which case you would order two. 

They ran out of hi-chairs and booster seats so the group behind us had their toddler on a chair with a pillow.  What a bummer.  That group also had the host come and apologize more than once about the long wait.

The menu was unremarkable - slight variations on the same ingredients. A lot of pork, sausage, spatzle and kraut. 

The table just to their side told the waitress when she finally came back around that they were given the wrong dinner. By that time the other people in the party had already finished their meals and that poor guy hadn't had a bite.  Apple strudel and a smile was not going to fix that.

Finally, the candle on top of the birthday cake happened when a little old guy left to his car and slapped his waitress on the tush so hard the crack actually caught my mother-in law's attention. My eyes were as big as saucers and when I told her what made the noise she thought it was pretty funny.  The old guy had such a happy look on his face - he knew what he was doing.  I hope to be naughty and get away with it when I am an old woman too. 

So, all in all - I give the Glockenspiel a super C rating.  In my husband's words - the price point did not massage the value.

Gastovs was loud but it was fun and the food wasn't too bad.  Next we are going to the black forest in Mpls. 

Sausage Pizza hold the Pizza

My family has a strange and intimate relationship with sausage.  We get it at Ready Meats in NE - we get it as Morellies in St. Paul, we get it with our Bucca Pasta, we get pounds of it made when we order our buffalo.  One of my friends heads straight to the fridge to get a beef stick as soon as she gets into the kitchen and I never travel for longer than 2 hours without stocking up.  When dieting it's also great!

Did you know that the number one snack food in Minnesota is meat.  Yup - meat pounds and pounds of jerky and sausage links.  You can buy them individually at the gas station or you can buy a five pound brick at Gander Mountain.  Because what goes better than camping and sausage.  We are very tribal in Minnesota going back to our roots and eating sausage pizza hold the pizza.

So KG decided he wanted a meat grinder/sausage maker for fathers-day.  I am enthusiastic about it and we both decided to get a really nice one from his work.  I knew that we could give it away, maybe if it's good we can sell it to friends along with our pickled beans.  Our house is going to smell like wieners and we are going to have feet upon feet of wieners hanging from the rafters. 

We had to wait to get it delivered and in the mean-time I decided to sharpen my charicuterie skills and enhance my sausage handling.  And KG was totally up for it!

I decided to make sausage filled raviolis and I was going to make my own pasta dough too boot.  The recipes as easy at it gets and I just knew it was going to be tasty so it was worth doing.

Here is my recipe for sausage raviolis - or any other stuffing you want.  This recipe will make about 50 average size raviolis - enough for five people to eat a large portion.  You can also freeze the raviolis or the dough and make some later.  I approach this like pickling or making tamales - more than one person is nice and it will take some time.

 Pasta:
16 oz of regular flour
12 eggs
2 whole eggs
2 tbsp milk
1 tbsp oil

You can either dump it into your mixer or you can make a pile on your counter-top put the wet ingredients in the middle and slowly incorporate it until you get a firm ball.  Either way you want to eventually dust your counter with flour and work the dough over and over until everything is incorporated and you can exercised the dough.  If you want to add some color/flavor go ahead and puree some spinach or roasted peppers but go easy on the eggs so that the dough doesn't get to mooshey.  Cover it with cling wrap or a slightly damp towel and set aside for 30 min.

Stuffing:
1/2 lb spicy Italian sausage
1/2 lb lean ground meat or veal or turkey
1 cup bread crumbs
2/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup diced parsley
8 gloves of garlic
two eggs

Brown the meat - then add the garlic and parsley until cooked and wilted.  Set aside and let it cool down.  Once it is cook enough to add the eggs w/o cooking them put the meat into a food processor and then add all of the rest of the ingredients but set aside 1/2 of the bread crumbs and add it slowly until you get a firm but not hard texture of the mix.

Now cut you dough into 4 pieces and either press it through a pasta maker or use a rolling pin on our counter.  Get it as think as you possibly can.

You can make what ever side or shape of pasta that you want - it all cooks the same.  I like to use shot glasses to make a smaller size ravioli.  You can also make squares and experiment with tortellini.

Remember to keep the dough covered so it doesn't dry out.

Once you finish raviolis either put them on a well dusted baking sheet to dry or put then on a cookie rack.  Make sure to dust the heck out of the bottom.  The ingredients will soak through the dough and make it gummy and pasty if you don't generously flour the bottom of the pasta.  Furthermore you should try to source a baking cooling rack so you get air flow under the pasta and there is less flat contact between the pasta and the bottom surface.

Let the pasta dry out for 4 hours and then put away in the fridge.  I like to use those large flat disposable containers and I am sure to dust was paper between the raviolis and try not to make then touch each other if possible.  Until it is frozen you will want to handle with care.

When you cook them set them out on the counter for 30 minutes and then salt some water (see the pasta blog for pointers) and cook for three minutes each.  Test a few first and then eat it to see if it's ok.  Pull the raviolis out one by one - do not dump them into a colander.  You can either put them right into the sauce you have chosen or you can put them on an oiled pan or dish.  Do not let them touch until there is a good lubricant between them like sauce or oil. 

After all of the work you put into this be sure to store, cook and serve carefully so you don't ruin all of your hard labor!

Enjoy-a

Fat Italian Gramma: Whoot Whoot - Nice Tots!

Fat Italian Gramma: Whoot Whoot - Nice Tots!: "A couple of years ago my then fiance and I decided to go down and visit his parents. They live in a rural area not a long drive from Walnut..."

Whoot Whoot - Nice Tots!

A couple of years ago my then fiance and I decided to go down and visit his parents.  They live in a rural area not a long drive from Walnut Grove so we decided we were going to have some good clean fun and go to the original home of Laura Ingles Wilder. 

Now that I am much much more mature I don't do this - but way back in the olden days I used to get a little bit cranky when I was forced to be good.  Literally - and it's not that I am bad - I have manners and the whole nine - it's just that I wanted to be better - super good for his parents.  Because they are really and truly good people.  I have some growing up to do.  So, when faced with the challenge of not swearing, eating like a lady, looking interested, figuring out small topics of conversation that do not include farts, my love for cocktails, the latest naughty shenanigan of one of my family members I don't tend to have much to add to the conversation. 

I was particularly paranoid about talking about food - I didn't want to come off as being a pompass food-snob to people who knew the value of working hard for a meal - something our generation has absolutely no clue about.  They also have good motivation for their good-behaviour.  They live in a smaller community where every one knows if their neighbors drapes match their carpet, they are active in their religious and their civic community and in a smaller community you can't melt away into the social fabric like in urban settings - people really seem to know each other and I would imagine that respectfulness and gratitude is pretty key in such close quarters where minor offences can get you flogged - or at least stink-eyed when you come into the Wooden Shoe bar to get a boiler maker at 5:30 after you dropped off your first load of soy-beans.  (I think I just typed the longest sentence on record).

So, to make this part of the story even longer - they are well-behaved, I am the demon seed and end up with a lot of bottled up bad behavior and a totally R rated inner-monologue.

So, with all do respect for the Wilder family, the dugout on plum river was such a let-down.  We are literally talking about a bump in a field next to a tiny little stream that has about as much water flowing through it as my neighbor's boulevard when they drain their pool.  Not to mention the freakin' bugs!!! Dude!  We all stood around trying to be well-behaved trying to make small talk so we didn't seem like we were rushing each other - as if any one of us wanted to stand around in a field taking in the history even one more second.  So, finally.. someone is like - well, I supposed we should maybe go into town and go to the museum what do you think?  In chorus everyone was like " oooo yaaa - that is such a goood idea - ya well - ya then that just sounds like a good idea now.." (insert your best MN Norwegian accent here).

So we head into town and learned we missed the Laura Ingles Wilder pageant by about two months - I guess their marketing budget is pretty small and they leave the advertisements up year around save for a few dated ones off the highway.  So, we head over to the museum and I'll be honest... to use corporate terms I was "non plus" about it - it was more of an homage to the show than to the actual person.  I read all of those books as a kid and loved them.  I DVR the episodes so I have something uplifting to watch in the middle of the *night when my mind is spinning.  So I was looking forward to a little more history.  But we got our money's worth and I got to check it off of my minor-minor-bucket list.

When we were done we decided to get some lunch and as luck would have it - there was a diner right across the road - by golly it was Nellie's Cafe!  Go figure! 

In restaurant evolution I have noticed the following:  Really salt of the earth places do alla-cart food where you pick the sandwich, then you pick a vegetable like coleslaw or what ever and then you pick a start and you compose the whole thing yourself.  Then you get to the mid-range where they toss a buch of stuff into a basket and then typically toss it into a friar full of old oil and then onto your table - food, fries and other odd items (liked deep fried pickle garnish) and you pay one price.  Then you go up one more class of restaurant and you are back to Ala-cart again.  This is a serious trip hazard for those unfamiliar with fine dining as you assume that the $21 chicken breast is a meal - but o that is not so - it's just the chicken.  I secretly find it amusing when you see the meals being served to teenagers at prom and they have this confused look on their face like "what the hell is going on?  Is this it???"  "Ummmmm.... what is the difference between table water and flat water???".  This is amusing because I am a bad person.

 Back to the story - I see the wonder-bread through the kitchen door and know that this is going to be interesting.  We get the bomb-ass table literally right next to the window air-conditioner - that was cranked way up because it was sweltering outside.  This table came equipped with a hood and fly swatter and the first thing I had to do was fold up some napkin and put it under the table leg so that the fresh cups of water didn't slide off the side of the table.  Did I mention how much we looked like interlopers???  Were were eye-balled by the rest of the folks for so long I had to bite my tongue not to yell out "take a picture - it lasts longer". 

When we ordered everyone was trying to be on their ultra best behavior - screw getting what you want or indulging on something fancy.  We need to establish our frugality and be sure not to look too indulgent or pushy.  There could be an ambassador around that frequents their home town and would report back that they had desert before lunch.  So, we ordered and of course there is a strange order to this process - the "no you first... no - you first... ooo  - - nooooo - gooo ahead" so my husband starts and goes for the ham and cheese.  I wanted to desperately explain that my intuition tells me it is going to be a tiny sandwich on a tiny part sitting alone. But I didn't.  Then everyone else ordered their tiny sandwiches and I knew nibble on their sandwich for as long as it lasted so as not to look like the piglet of Walnut Grove.  But, my mother in-law surprised me and asked if everyone would share an order of tots.  We all agreed. 

When the meal was served on wonder bread and little four inch in diameter plates (including the tots) we all sucked up our reaction and Ann distributed evenly the tots - one for each of us.  And then there was one damned tot left.  Hmmmmm... with our super-manners how were we going to handle the situation????  Of course we waited and waited for someone to grab it naturally, then we all fussed "no you have it, o no - I am stuffed you have it - no really please do"

This where I came to my breaking point... and couldn't help myself I had two options 1) reach across the table and flick it off of the plate onto the floor and across the restaurant so as to end it - or tell KG to freakin' eat it for gods sake!!! Instead of either 1 or 2 I said KG please go for it - and he did because I said "please" so politely. 

Yes folks - I was a good girl.  I minded my manners and everything. And from that point on we make sure to pack snacks on road-trips.

To honor the tot I have this recipe from my gramma:

One bag of tots
One can of cream of mushroom soup
One cup of milk
One can of green beans
One pound of burger
1/2 cup diced onions
1/2 cup of diced mushrooms (optional)
Seasoning Salt, Garlic salt or just good old salt (please no iodized if you can help it).

Grind the Burger and add the seasonings to taste.  Combine this with the rest of the ingredients but the tots and milk.  Now use the milk a little at a time until you get it to a smooth paste but not runny.  Simmer for a few minutes until the mixture is heated through.  Now line the top of the dish with tator tots until the whole top is covered in tots.  Now read the the tot bag for the baking time and instructions as if you were just making the tots alone.  Once it is done let it sit and cool for 15-20 min. so it can set-up.

I think you can add just about what ever the heck you want to this dish to fill it out or change it to reflect what you have left in your fridge or cabinets.

Enjoy!

What What in the Butt

Karl and I decided to make scramritos  scrambled egg burritos.  I love this name - something my good friend Rachel and Natalie introduced me to :-)

This recipe is made with pork-butt sometimes referred to as a pork shoulder.  A little history on the Butt - back in the "olden days" they used to partition animal parts into larger quantities of meat by zone - so a Pork Butt usually considered of a number of other cuts of meat around the shoulder area of the pig - so you will find it under both titles.  This cut is also the best option if you have a recipe for Green Ham - which is what you call a raw ham - this is used in a prolific Latino recipe on Christmas!

So this one you could even do while you are at work or have things to do that taker a while.  The longer and lower you cook the better it will be.

We made the butt last night - it was about a 4lb butt so not all that big but just perfect for Karl and I and some left-overs.

First I brined it - brining infuses the meat with salt which then enables the protein molecules to obsorbe or bond with water and not let them go.  You can brine for as few as 2 hours for a 4-5lb. butt of even over night.

I brined this butt in:

6 Cups H2O 
6 tsp of chicken bullion
2 Bay Leaf
1 Tbsp Pepper Corns

Dump it together in a contain and refrigerate!  I would not reccoment using a metal or cast iron pan as the salt will pitt the finish.

Once done brining take the butt out but don't rinse it off.   Brining work for most meat - the smaller the cut the less time you need to brine so you can brine thin cut pork chops for a little as 20min.  Or you can brine a turkey over night or up to 24 hours.  The ingredients beyond the salt are totally up to you and add different flavors but are not totally necessary.  BUT  I have one total MUST - please do not use Iodized salt in the blue can - it is so acidic and nasty!  Pick up a box or jar of Kosher Salt or Flake Salt - it's extremely cheep.  In your other cooking you will need to salt and taste and use marginally more as it's volume is larger than Iodized.

MMKKK - Here is the But Recipe:
1 4-5 lb brined butt
6 cups chicken broth -
4 Orange juice - or Orange Pineapple
 I use the bullion for the salt - if you do not you might want to add in salt - don't worry about the brine.
1 med. onion - quartered
6 cloves of garlic - place on the counter and wack it to break it up a bit and let out the essential oils
1 tbsp Dill Seeds
1 tsp Crushed Pepper
1 tsp Brown Sugar (There is a boutique on the north side of Grand avenue just west of Dale that has some really cool stuff like Cinnamon salt (good on sweet potatoes or yams) a dozen variates of salts from black smoked salt to rose hip salt to cardamom salt and pink salt.  Great ideas for gifts of for your own kitchen.  I decided to use my jar of Maple Syrup Sugar but that is not needed.

Combine everything into a baking pan/dish - the idea is that you are going braise the meat in the juice so you want to pick a pan that is just a little bit wider than the meet.  Take some foil and tightly wrap it over the top of the pan and then put the lid on top of that so none of the juicy liquid evaporates.  If you pan doesn't have a lid than just wrap it well with foil.  I have actually made this recipe in our smoker - but you MUST keep the heat down to 250-275 that us key.  Assuming you will be putting into your oven you will set the oven for 250 and put it in - don't worry about the warm-up time just put it in - the extra heat will caramelize the outside of the meat and that's just fine.  You could probably use a crock but only if you know for sure how hot it gets.

Once you have cooked it for 6 hours take it out - do NOT uncover it and let it sit for 30min.  Once that has passed take it out of the pan and put it one counter for another 20 min.  When the heat reduced it will suck the liquid back into the meat so do not cut it!  This is called capillary action and it does make use of the residual heat that is left in the butt once you are done cooking.

You should have a really hard time getting it out of the pot because it will fall apart all over the place!

I like to use it for Scramritos - but it makes anything you can imagine that uses pork - especially delicious pulled pork

When I make scramritos I scramble some eggs (a single fried egg is also good), dice some tomato and onion, maybe some cilantro and then add some hot sauce or salsa if you fear the delicious and life giving heat of spicy food.  Possibly a cure to cancer.

Just a note - I buy Stacy's Organic flour tortillas from our co-op they probably sell then at other places - in a simple plastic bag with a green slip of paper that says Stacey's tortillas.  I swear they have crack in them - they are the most delicious and durable tortilla I have ever eaten.

Jump in!

Taking A Big Pea

Trying before you buy is totally acceptable and most of the gardeners really respect the fact that you are choozie - unless you are crap in which case they call you names in a different language as you walk away - just like the ladies at the nail shop who I KNOW ARE TALKING SHIT about me right in front of my face!  Or perhaps talking about all of the strange crap under my nails and conversating about what I could have possibly been doing with my hands in order to corrupt the nails to such a degree.  For that reason I am going to get Rosetta Stone for Vietnamese. 

I have missed cutting my own finger tip off on more than one occasion - I have fake nails to thank for that - buys listen up!!

The last time I got my nails done I was trying to make small talk so I asked Mai where she does her shopping and if she makes a lot of traditional foods - she said yes and I recommended the huge Asian market off of Dale in the Como Neighborhood - I believe it's called the flower dragon??? I'd have to check - it's about a half mile north of university on Dale - on the west side of the street.

Let me tell you about this joint.  If you are insecure about being a minority (assuming you are whiter) then this is good place to fix that because you will definitely be a minority. And you know they sell fish when you get out of your car.  Their sea-food is so fresh it's actually living! 

The folks are so helpful you will be blown away at how accommodating they are and their willingness to explain and interpret the titles on the cans/bottles.  On of my favorite brands is the Big Red Cock brand.  Red can with Yellow righting and their mock-duck is pretty darn good.  he he he I just can't get over the name.  Karl doesn't see the humor but that's because he isn't a total juvenilely like I am.  Fun police!

So back to what I was writing about before - i found this delicious cold spring salad when watching Everyday Italian with Giada De Lurentis (is it me or does she have a giant melon??).  So I made a couple of minor changes but essentially it's her recipe and delicious!  I will also put some short cuts.

8 cups chicken broth (Wylers dry bullion is fine unless u are watching your salt)

2 cups dry orzo (this is one that you can use what ever brand BUT Creamette - based on the principle of it)

1 -15 oz can of garbanzo beans aka chick peas drained and diced (do this the packing sauce is disgusting and will add a weird taste to the salad)

1.5 cups Tear Drop Tomatoes - or cherry or whatever cut into 3/4 inch pieces

3/4 cup fine diced scallions or red onion

1/2 cup fine diced fresh basil - FRESH

1/4 cup fine diced mint FRESH

*1 cup shucked sugar snap peas

1 diced red pepper

3/4 cup red wine vinaigrette (recipe go follow)

Salt and Pepper

You can buy a pre-made red wine vinegar if you want or the lite Italian but the lite Italian really does change the recipe and had a weird taste but is a good way to save on some calories.

Vinaigrette:

1/2 cup red wine vinegar

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

2 tsp honey

2 tsp salt and pepper

1 extra virgin olive oil

Directions:

Boil the orzo in the chicken broth and drain - but do NOT rinse.  Put it into a container and toss it into the fridge to get it cold.

Mix together the peppers, peas, tomatoes, onions, herbs, beans and add back the chilled orzo.  Season with salt and pepper but taste it first because the chicken broth does add salt.

Mix the vinaigrette: combine vinegar, lemon, honey, salt and pepper in a blender preferably.  Or use an immersion blender - you can get one for $15 at walgreens - it is also called a "stick" blender.  You can make delicious creamed soups with it too. 

However, you can totally mix it vigorously.

If you can let it sit for a day that is even better - the ingredients meld together nicely.

Combine everything - toss - chill and eat!

*Keep your eyes out at the market for pre-shucked peas - you can find them from time to time.  I like to sit in front of the TV and watch Real Housewives of New York!  You can rinse frozen peas but honestly the taste of the fresh peas and the texture is what makes this salad really work - so try at all cost to get fresh peas.  You can find them at the store in the spring and at Trader Joes in the spring.

Dude...I have crabs!!

Yesterday Karl, Alex and I went down to Coastal Seafoods at the Snelling/Grand crossing - a great little spot with seafood, a wonderful cheese shop literally called The Cheese Shop and a Breadsmith.  You can get a whole meal (sans vegetable) in one stop.  I particularly love their Eauforia Sheep aged Gouda - it's marvelous!. 

So we went to Coastal, it was packed and my favorite fish monger was working!  This guy is so nice - he gives me the "best", cheery picks the clams/oysters and usually gives me a bakers bakers bakers dozen of muscles.  When I first purchased oysters he brought me back behind the counter and showed me how to open them. I am sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was only wearing a g-string and some pasties.  He also showed me how to scale a fish, he dispatches the lobsters for me and picks the best females so they are sweet and juicy.  In this regard size doesn't really matter. lol

Anyhizzle - the place was packed and it was late on Thursday so I was worried about what was going to be left.  They get their weekly shipment on Thursdays and it seems the only time I can get Kumomoto Oysters or blue-shelled crabs. Today rolled the dice and only won once on the crabs.

Here is the diva part of the story: the place was packed but when I walked in Jeff yells over the crowd "Heya Brandie!  How you been? What's going to be on your menu today?".  Dude - I know it's totally juvenile and basically socially unacceptable to skip to the front of the line - but hey - I have spent more money than I can freely admit and I totally take their advice so what I can say?  They like me.. they really like me!!! Whoot whoot!

I grabbed one of their baguettes (they are the best I have ever had in my life) and some pate (Nueske's) and as we checked out we both held our noses in the air and had a brief discussion about how wonderful Hotel Crabs are, how it was going to be prepared and why charcuterie is so popular.  I mean who doesn't like a good wiener right?

So I had my total snobby foodie diva moment and if the idea is stroke people's ego in order to keep them coming back I am totally 100% on board!

So what did we do with the crabs?  It's so simple it's crazy and they are unbelievable!!! 

The cool story with soft shelled blue crabs is that once a year these little crabs shed their hard shells and for a very very short period of time when they have their old shells off and their new shells have not hardened you can literally eat the whole damn thing - legs and all.  I do however recommend dressing the crab by taking out the eyes and gills- but leave the yellow stuff it is really tasty.

Once the crabs are clean (they come that way at Coastal but I do check to make sure it is clean) heat up your grill to med, melt a half stick of butter for 4 crabs and then add 1 tsp. tobasco sauce to the butter for basting.

These crabs will cook super quick and the legs will char first so keep a close eye on thins and bbq then for no more then 5 min. on each side at most - for Hotels or the larger crabs I do 5 min, but if you get smaller ones you will need to reduce the cooking time.  Throughout the bbqing you will baste the crabs with the butter mixture.

You can serve then as an appetizer - fun and a good topic for conversation or you can use them in a main dish - if you do that two or three for each person.  Or, in order to hide the texture a bit you can brown bread (chibata is good) and eat them as a sandwich - they are really good like that.  I would recommend either one large one or two med/small if you do that.

This is absolutely delicious, easy relatively inexpensive at $3-5 per crab and easy to cook - go for it!  If you like crab you will love this.

Saucy Bit$h

I have a really simple pan sauce recipe that can refine a basic piece of meat and make you look like an extra special cook w/o taking a lot of time or work.  The nicest part is that you can add different things to it to change it up.  It's basic stuff - but I tend to forget about having it up my sleeve.

Here it goes:

2 cups Flour
Dash Gravy Thickener
Salt/Pepper
2 tbsp Butter
1 tbsp Oil
1 lb Meat
1 1/2 cup chicken/beef broth
Other items listed below

Trim your meat of fat.  Salt and Pepper it (like you would do when you bbq). 
Put a cup of flour in a plastic bag - or what ever amount it takes for the meat to freely roll around.  Toss the meat in the bag and tumble until the meat is dusted.

Take a frying pan and heat it over med/hi heat.  If you have a non - non stick pan that is best because you DO want the meat bits to caramelize and stick to the bottom of the pan.  This is called "fond" and it's going to be the flavor base for your sauce.  If you don't have a pan like that then just use one of your older non-stick pans or what ever you have on hand.

Add 1 tbsp butter and 1 tbsp oil.  Once it is nice and hot add the meat.  Don't skip the oil  - it keeps the butter from burning. You want to keep the meat fairly thin - not like super thin - but less than 3/4 inch.  You can do this by filleting your meat in half the long way. 

You will have to use your own judgement on how hi to cook it and how long.  If it seems like it is browning too fast and dark than turn the heat down.  The idea is to cook it through as part of the Browning/residual heating at the end.  When I have a 1/2 inch thick cut It takes me about 5min. on each side.  Don't flip the meat if it is sticking - if it sticks it means it is not ready yet - once it is browned and caramelized it will release from the bottom of the pan. You can always check it w/ a thermometer.

When the meat is done place it on a dish and put it in your oven - don't turn your oven on.  This will keep it slightly warm w/o over cooking it and keep the crispy crust.

Now you are going to de-glaze the pan.  Keep the pan on med-hi and add the chicken broth - be careful because it will pop and splatter.  Take a rubber or wooden spoon and scrape the bottom of the pan to release the fond and stirr it into the chicken broth.  You can choose chicken/beef broth based on the meat - I tend to use chicken on chicken and pork.

Cook the sauce for 5-10 min until it reduces to about 1/2.  If it seems too thin then either add some gravy thickener (nice to keep on hand and can be found near the baking section) or add a bit of flour but be careful not to get lumps - perhaps you want to take a bit of chicken broth in a separate container and mix in the flour and then add it into the sauce.  Just before you serve it add the last 1 tbsp butter.  You can skip that if you don't want the extra calories  - the butter makes it velvety.

Done!

So here are some other things you can add to fancy it up -
Mushrooms
Capers
Peas
Onion
Fine diced Green Peppers
Chives
Thyme
Oregano
You can also add a few tbsp of heavy whipping cream or half and half to make it creamy
You can also omit 1/4 cup of broth and replace it with wine.  If you do this then add the wine to the hot pan first and let the alcohol burn off then add the broth and continue.

A burning desire to pour smokey cumin in her eyes

I really kind of like the new cooking tv channel.  Food TV has started to suck so bad in the last few years..... I don't find anything interesting anymore - a few greasy spoon recipes and maybe one or to from Giada to keep me at least looking to see what is on - but otherwise I really don't like watching some food nauvice slop around the kitchen, someone instructing you on the most basic skills that you would know how to use if you event walked past a kitchen or people who are using already-created items to make it super easy. 

I have nothing against super easy but really???  Saundra Lee? They make fajita seasonings in a package???? God I would have never guessed.... I totally needed you to show me how to open the package, add meat and some water!!!  I am sick of being treated like a moron.

But there is one show and "food network star" that totally drives me nutz and has me jumping around the couch bouncing around and  bitching.... I will give you a few hints:

1) Yummmoooo
2) prolific use of smokey cumin
3) creating "healthful" food
4) smiles like the Joker from the original batman
5) uses dumb ass names like stoup for a thick stew like soup
6) uses acronyms all of the time but then immediately defines them - over and over in the same episode....
7) says she is using a "bit" of something and then dumps in a half cup
8) turns herself into a pack-mule and hauls everything for her whole meal in one load to her work counter
9) single handedly takes responsibility for creating a "trash bowl"
10) pre cleans, pre cuts and pre-packages her produce and then tells you that the meal can be made in just 30 min.
11) ALWAYS leaves out ingredients in her recipes and/or adds things to the recipe that are not in the recipe originally

Can you guess?

Yes it's Rachel Ray or as her number one anti-fan site calls her raytard.  I don't love that word... but sometimes she is so... so...

So I am not a total hater - I know a lot of people like her and her show - I just have to put my foot down when they have her on their new more refined  cooking channel.  I might actually just stop watching the channel all together - especially if they put even one!!  even one!!! dump competition or food war show on the station!!! Can't we the people who have basic cooking skills and like to try something new have even one little corner of the world to ourselves?  Without dumbing things down??

For you that like her feel free to keep on envisioning her wrapped in chocolate and sprinkles - I really don't care.... but if you ever refer to anything you have made as containing smokey cumin I will likely flick my fork across the table at you forehead (like gramma did to Tom which does explain certain things)

Amen

So in honor of extending an olive branch I will offer the one recipe for from her show that is actually really good... I have made a few modifications but not enough to call it my own.  And of course she gave it a ridiculous title:

Doctor Pepper Ribz
 2 racks baby back ribz
2 liters of Dr. Pepper
1/4 cup salt
1 tbsp chili powder
1/2 tbsp olive or veg. oil
1/2 med. onion minced
1 clove garlic fine-chop
1/2 cup ketchup - heinz please
2 tbsp Worcestershire
2 tbsp cider vinegar
1/8 cayenne pepper

put the ribz in a large baking pan, pour in the dr. pepper and reserve 1/2 cup for the sauce. - add the salt and soak ribz over night or at least 3 hours.

*Heat oven to 350 remove ribz from dr. pepper, dry, rub with chili powder, place on a baking dish meat side down, add  1 cup h2o and tightly cover with foil, cook for 2 hours or until the meat nearly falls off the bone.  And it will.

The sauce: heat the oil in a saucepan over med. heat, saute onions and garlic till soft, add ketchup, worch. vinegar, Cayenne and the 1/2 cup of reserved dr. pepper.  Simmer for 15 - 20 min. or until the sauce reduces and thickens.

Fire up the grill, brush the ribz with sauce and grill it on high heat for 10-15 min. basting with the sauce until it is caramelized!

*I think you can probably use a tin-foil pan and do this on the grill as long as you cover it tightly and mind the heat so it doesn't get over 300.

A noodle by any other name is just not theb same

I reserve the right to be a pretencions cook because I have respect for the ingredients - and conversely I also have great disdain for things that I deem to suck.  Those are strong words I realize but it's from the heart.

Here is a list of a few:
Creamette Noodles
Garlic in a Jar
Most things that are fat free
Frozen Onions
Cheep Balsamic Vinegar
Off-brand condensed soups
Spices that are less than a dollar
Mushrooms in a jar
Canned Ham
Asparagus in a jar

If it takes as much time to tear open the bag of onions then  to cut one up - for GOD SAKE cut up an onion.  By far the one that gets on my nerves the most has to be creamette noodles.  Now I know that some of you use them - and I don't blame you - they are cheep.  But here is the deal - a Barlla noodle lays Creamette to wast - specially if you boil it too long.  So, again, for GODS SAKE spurge and buy Barlla - you are slaving away on a meal so you have earned it.

Here are a few pointers when making noodles
1) DO read the cooking time
2) Check your noodle for done-ness a minute before it is time to pull them out
3) When you pull them out rinse them first with cold water to cool then down and then use hot if you want - unless the recipe calls for it to be drained and put right back in.  Your noodles will continue to cook if they sit there in the hot steam
4) Wait until the water is boiling to add the salt so that you don't pit the bottom of your pan
5)When you add salt - you should probably double it.  It's a crap-ton of water ad is diluted.  Adding salt gives you an opportunity layer flavor into your meal.
6)Yes you can add a bit of olive oil o your water in order reduce the chance of noodles sticking together
7)Use a lot of water - the more room the noodles have the better they will turn ou
8) If you are making spaghetti, linguine or any other long noodle break it in half so that when you put it into your pan half is not sticking out - when you do that you end up over-cooking the bottom half of you noodle and it really reduces the chance of the noodles sticking together
9)Take your noodle timing seriously.  It kills me when someone puts a hand full of noodles in, then hovers or chit-chats for a few minutes and then puts on the timer.  Also, don't get lost in conversation and think that finishing your story is acceptable - it's not!!
10) Noodles are like avocados and pears - you have a very small widow in which they are perfect/ripe and after that time they are crap

In honor of the Barilla noodle here is my favorite pasta salad recipe!  A well guarded secret up until this point. 

1 lb. Barilla noodles - large or medium shells
1 1/2 cup Miracle Whip
A package of dry ranch dip
A jar of pickles
1 Cup Frozen Peas
1 small White onion
1 cup Small pieces of cauliflower
3/4 lb Salad shrimp - or larger if you want to zip it up a bit

Cook the noodles and rinse then off in cold water.  In a separate bowl dice up the vegetables and add the rest of the ingredients.  In a separate bowl add together the Miracle Whip and the ranch dressing - then add the pickle juice slowly until it is creamy - it's ok if it is soupy because it will firm up.  Stirr, chill serve!

Yum

Will the tomatoes burn my face off?

About a month ago I posted that I was going to sprinkle Cayenne pepper all over my garden to see if it keeps the animals out.  I had made my problem worse when I installed a new bird-feeder and bath and created a nice cozy environment for those furry little rats.  My bad.

So the pepper must have worked!  So far I have not had one single nibble on any of my plants.  Granted - I had to sprinkle a whole bottle of pepper on my plants in order to do the whole garden.  But that seems cheaper than replacing the plants and totally freaking out in the morning when I look out back and see that my garden has been ravaged.  I can only run out the back door screaming and waving my arms around like a freak of nature so many times before the neighbors turn off their lawn mower, put down the wrench (yes there is a chop chop across the alley - I am totally sure of it!!!) and look over at me to see what the hell is my problem.

So, this weekend I noticed an advertisement for Repellex - a capsaicin product (the stuff that makes peppers hot).  It was invented by a chemist who's wife had cancer and he was looking for a better delivery method for her meds - then one day she was bitchin' about her garden being ravaged by animals and decided to see if he could use the same delivery method for her plants.

You put ghe pills in the soil round your plant in the spring before they grow and the plant draws in the capsaicin and makes it unattractive to varmints.  If the Cayenne works then this should work too right???  So I am going to get some and give it a whirl.  Apparently you only need to use it twice a year - so hopefully it's inexpensive.  It is also natural which is a very good thing as my garden is organic and I want it to stay that way (accept for the weekly miracle grow treatment ;-).

My one major question is this: if I put this on my veg. garden then will my vegetables come out all hot and spicy???  hard to know! Until I try it.

So in honor of my peppered garden I am going to post this lovely simple healthy recipe I call my really freaking good simple summer pasta. 

My Really Freaking Good Simple Summer Pasta:

Salt
2/3 lb of Rigatoni
2 lbs plum tomatoes coarsely chopped
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
3 tbsp olive oil
3 garlic cloves thinly sliced
1/2 tsp red-pepper flakes (or more if you like it hot)
1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley
1 tbsp chopped fresh oregano
8 oz of fresh mozzarella cheese diced
* any other veg. or meat you like - a short list is provided below

OK here is the deal.... you have to use fresh ingredients - not dried herbs, no other type of tomatoes, none of that shitty frozen or jarred garlic and for god's sake alive use FRESH mozzarella - you can find it just about everywhere.

And finally, man up - use the red pepper flakes.  1/4 won't make it hot and if it's hot to you when you are done you are a total wimp because I have family members that have the most white-toast tender mouths and can't tell there is any in there so you won't either.  If you like even a little bit of heat then double the pepper flakes - it will only be a background flavor.

So here is the drizzle:
Make your pasta and set aside
In a skillet  or pan large enough to hold all of the ingredients including the pasta you will want to add the oil and garlic is soft and just starting to brown.  About 4-5 min.  Remove from heat and stirr in the pepper flakes.

Now you stirr in all of the rest of the ingredients - the whole lot.  If it seems dry then add a tad more balsamic and/or olive oil.  The mozzarella will not melt completely - which is what you want because you don't want a sticky mess of pasta - the mozzarella is to have a little bit to it. 

I like to add other vegetables to round out the meal like asparagus, broccoli rab, maybe even chicken or turkey/chicken sausage (not not sweet).  Kids love this dish too and don't worry about burning their face off with the pepper flakes they will be just fine.

Don't forget to taste it before you serve it - if it seems like it lacks flavor then add some salt or a bit of garlic salt or more balsamic. 

Enjoy!