There are a couple of reasons that Karl and I moved to Highland. For Karl it was because I was here. Full Stop. For me, it was because of where I worked, the feel of the neighborhood (as Tom would say.. i would be surrounded by my tree-hugging liberal brethren), it feels like NE in it's hay-day and we found a house that was double-flipped foreclosed and we were able to horn-swaggle a poor agent to duel-represent us and walla we were in Highland.
But... I had one other reason for pushing the reason of moving to Highland. Highland actually has an ordinance about fast food chains. I swear there is a league of awesome old-school city folks that will re-design the zoning to purposefully NOT allow fast food. As a matter of fact, they barred Noodles from opening on Grand Avenue. My guess is that zoning had something to do with Chipotle sneaking in at Victoria Crossing - but none the less - unless you are REALLY in the mood for a ten thousand calorie bomb, low on dough or in a big hurry how could you possibly pass up Cafe Late??? Or Bread and Chocolate? Or even Axles or Billies? They are all a stones throw away from eating a burrito so big it will make you sweat and the next day? O my god... that hot sauce is destructive!
Ok back to what I was saying - Karl would insist that barring commerce is a bad bad thing for a society built on capitalism - to which I run out the back door, rip off my cloths and do a interpretative dance with the back yard tree - mourning all of the trees lost to industrialism. The polarity of our politics is astonishing.
Ok so this isn't perfect - I can count about 10 "fast food" or even "fast casual" food that has made it through the cracks. Even a certain subway's wait staff on Grand Avenue that instead of asking you what you would like will just stand there with their hands on their hip and cock their head at you with a snark on their face and ask "what shoe want" after waiting an uncomfortable 30 seconds. I can't help myself - I usually say "a sandwich" and then we run through the list of other options like selecting bread type, cheese type, meat/vegetable type (I usually have to stop them and ask them to nuke the veggie pattie otherwise they will deliberate add it frozen to my sub), then some "fixins" - yes really they are called "fixins" and that is what staff is trained to address them as. I want all of them. Seems simple doesn't it? Not really, because the lady will stop at each one that she doesn't particularly care for, or thinks is redundant (like both hot peppers and banana peppers??? GOOD GOD YOUR MOUTH WILL EXPLODE). Then once that is done I have to yell STOP before they automatically dump a freaking load of mayo on my sub the size of something I can't even talk about on this blog for fear of making it x rated. Finally, the check out comes at which time I get the customary "getting a lot for your money ha?" yes, if you can believe it - I ordered a veggie patty with veggies on it. How fibrous of me. The final step is when they try to jam the sandwich in the vertical bag - perpendicularly. Hmmmmm. not so sure about that approach. I usually want to yalp. I mean I came this far!!! Only to have it destroyed. In my mind I picture said Subway staff member drop kicking my sub out the door into a puddle just as the chain owner walks in and she says "good afternoon sir! Would you like a sub with all of the fixins?"
Needless to say texting an order of subway to a friend about to bring some lunch to your house when you are on surgery bed rest is harrowing and will give an awesome thumb cramp.
So, sure we have fast food in Highland, even a couple of them - and god knows we have three Walgreens... but most of our lovely neighbors choose these places as a third or fourth option and to the couple of fast food chains we do have about 150 other self owned restaurants and specialty food shops. I am a happy foodie girl. We can co-exist. Lord knows on a busy night we have stopped at each one of them - and can you really re-duplicate a Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard? Not really. And did you know if you ask for a "pup cup" when you have your dog in the car with you they will give you a tiny cup of vanilla soft serve? How awesome is that? And it is a Minnesota company.
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