I really kind of like the new cooking tv channel. Food TV has started to suck so bad in the last few years..... I don't find anything interesting anymore - a few greasy spoon recipes and maybe one or to from Giada to keep me at least looking to see what is on - but otherwise I really don't like watching some food nauvice slop around the kitchen, someone instructing you on the most basic skills that you would know how to use if you event walked past a kitchen or people who are using already-created items to make it super easy.
I have nothing against super easy but really??? Saundra Lee? They make fajita seasonings in a package???? God I would have never guessed.... I totally needed you to show me how to open the package, add meat and some water!!! I am sick of being treated like a moron.
But there is one show and "food network star" that totally drives me nutz and has me jumping around the couch bouncing around and bitching.... I will give you a few hints:
1) Yummmoooo
2) prolific use of smokey cumin
3) creating "healthful" food
4) smiles like the Joker from the original batman
5) uses dumb ass names like stoup for a thick stew like soup
6) uses acronyms all of the time but then immediately defines them - over and over in the same episode....
7) says she is using a "bit" of something and then dumps in a half cup
8) turns herself into a pack-mule and hauls everything for her whole meal in one load to her work counter
9) single handedly takes responsibility for creating a "trash bowl"
10) pre cleans, pre cuts and pre-packages her produce and then tells you that the meal can be made in just 30 min.
11) ALWAYS leaves out ingredients in her recipes and/or adds things to the recipe that are not in the recipe originally
Can you guess?
Yes it's Rachel Ray or as her number one anti-fan site calls her raytard. I don't love that word... but sometimes she is so... so...
So I am not a total hater - I know a lot of people like her and her show - I just have to put my foot down when they have her on their new more refined cooking channel. I might actually just stop watching the channel all together - especially if they put even one!! even one!!! dump competition or food war show on the station!!! Can't we the people who have basic cooking skills and like to try something new have even one little corner of the world to ourselves? Without dumbing things down??
For you that like her feel free to keep on envisioning her wrapped in chocolate and sprinkles - I really don't care.... but if you ever refer to anything you have made as containing smokey cumin I will likely flick my fork across the table at you forehead (like gramma did to Tom which does explain certain things)
Amen
So in honor of extending an olive branch I will offer the one recipe for from her show that is actually really good... I have made a few modifications but not enough to call it my own. And of course she gave it a ridiculous title:
Doctor Pepper Ribz
2 racks baby back ribz
2 liters of Dr. Pepper
1/4 cup salt
1 tbsp chili powder
1/2 tbsp olive or veg. oil
1/2 med. onion minced
1 clove garlic fine-chop
1/2 cup ketchup - heinz please
2 tbsp Worcestershire
2 tbsp cider vinegar
1/8 cayenne pepper
put the ribz in a large baking pan, pour in the dr. pepper and reserve 1/2 cup for the sauce. - add the salt and soak ribz over night or at least 3 hours.
*Heat oven to 350 remove ribz from dr. pepper, dry, rub with chili powder, place on a baking dish meat side down, add 1 cup h2o and tightly cover with foil, cook for 2 hours or until the meat nearly falls off the bone. And it will.
The sauce: heat the oil in a saucepan over med. heat, saute onions and garlic till soft, add ketchup, worch. vinegar, Cayenne and the 1/2 cup of reserved dr. pepper. Simmer for 15 - 20 min. or until the sauce reduces and thickens.
Fire up the grill, brush the ribz with sauce and grill it on high heat for 10-15 min. basting with the sauce until it is caramelized!
*I think you can probably use a tin-foil pan and do this on the grill as long as you cover it tightly and mind the heat so it doesn't get over 300.
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